Fertile Ground

You might not think Kelly could find a way to be a bitch about her future brother-in-law's fertility issues. But she does!

A visit from Matt’s brother Patrick and sister-in-law Juliane couldn’t come at a better time, what with both him and Kelly suddenly having so much time on their hands. But Matt’s not exactly excited for their arrival, since Patrick’s a big finance bro who’s always been critical of Matt. Patrick might be easier to get along with now, though, since he needs to ask a big favour: he’s sterile, and would like Matt to donate sperm so that Patrick and Juliane may have a baby. Do we even need to say Kelly is a bitch about it? Donna might not go so far as to say Kelly is being a bitch about backing out of the new lease on the store, but she’s terrified about having to network on her own. Turns out she should be, since her instincts suck, and she ends up dating a nerdy buyer so that he’ll order some of her new sweaters. David’s having much better luck, connecting with a fashion journalist (improbably) profiling Donna. Meanwhile, Noah’s still embroiled with Josie and her aggro brother Shane, who aren’t any easier to get along with now that Josie’s pretty sure that if she doesn’t come up with the $90,000 she owes her dealer for flushed coke, he’s going to kill her. Noah doesn’t really take their concerns seriously, since he’s also still embroiled with Steve and Janet’s nanny Darby, and required to do the emotional labour of assuring Steve that even if Darby isn’t constantly talking about her one-night-stand with Steve, he’s definitely probably the best she ever had. Having lost out on her chance to be a gym spokesmodel thanks to the “mix-up” that ended with her getting arrested on drug charges, Gina needs a job, and Dylan has a connection: a hotel regular named Russell who’s a big wig at the “Super Sports Channel.” Before he’ll consider her, though, Russell needs her to help whip his lazy son Michael into shape for his school’s big dance, three days hence. Michael knows his dad disdains him, and confides in Gina that their relationship has been hard ever since his mother’s death. Seeing in Russell shades of taskmaster Bobbie, Gina decides to be Michael’s hero. We discuss it all in our podcast on “Fertile Ground”!