Sydney’s gotten approached with a business deal from a couple of guys who just want to use the label to import and sell their pantyhose from China, and who know she used to work for Lauren. What could go wrong?! (You can probably guess.) She also happens to be home for the latest installment of Jess’s attempt to bone Jo against every wall in Los Angeles, and since she hears everything on the other side of said wall at her place, she decides it’s her place to snitch on them to Jake. Brooke does seem to be enjoying sex with Billy on its merits, but it also has fringe benefits, such as when he almost immediately betrays Alison’s confidence and tells Brooke that Alison’s On Notice with the D&D board: if she screws up one more thing, she’s out. Obviously, she’s in the process of screwing up one more thing when Brooke passes this intel on to Amanda, so she barely has to put in any effort to undermine Alison with this one. Kimberly gets the honour of an early graduation from Camp No More Victims after violently assaulting Sarge, and returns to Los Angeles with crazier eyes than ever, and an as-yet-unspecified plan of revenge against Michael. And when Wilshire Memorial’s new plastic surgeon, Paul Graham, learns that Matt is gay, he’s immediately intrigued. But he’s also a guy dating Matt, so…yes, there is something wrong with him. Peel off your stockings and join us for our podcast on “Hose By Any Other Name”!