Jane’s Addiction

Literally everyone in Amanda's life is annoying, but she manages not to kill any of them.

The problems Amanda is facing in this episode are hardly the worst Melrose Place has ever thrown at her, but there are LOTS of them, and they’re coming at her from all sides. D&D is toxic in a whole new way, and her choices for second-in-command are apparently limited to Billy or Craig. Peter just seems to be goofing off instead of beating the bushes for new patients to replace the ones he lost while he was incarcerated — and every time she catches him being especially lazy, one or more of the McBrides is around. Our queen does not deserve this! With the restaurant’s opening upon us, Kyle is interested in acquiring some original art for the walls, and takes a liking to the piece Samantha created for the window at Jane’s; Sydney nominates herself to be Samantha’s agent, and to make herself more available to Kyle, too. The love pentagon grows ever more accursed, with Jane escalating her hostilities from brick throwing to tire slashing. Jake and Alison remain convinced that their own exes couldn’t be stalking them, and their bickering about it only furthers Jane’s nefarious plans. But if dating Billy really was something she intended to do, she fails on that front: Billy is only into Samantha. Michael is once again approached by that pretty blonde jogger, who slips him her address and orders him to come service her sexually. And Matt discovers that leaving rehab did not reset his whole life to where it was before he started using speed. No need to keep fiending: our podcast on “Jane’s Addiction” is here!