The Test

Jake's old girlfriend Perry returns to tell him some shocking news: sexually transmitted diseases exist, and any person who has sex could be infected with one.

Things are going great for Jake and Jo, which means it’s time for his past to come back to haunt them again. Specifically, Jake’s ex Perry — the cocaine user who, when we last saw her, was scamming rich art collectors — is out of rehab for heroin addiction. She lets Jake know that she now has AIDS, and that as her former partner, he should get tested. Jake resists the notion that a man who only sleeps with women — even one who doesn’t use condoms 100% of the time — might be at risk for an STI. But eventually he does see reason (thanks to a sensible conversation with Matt), tells Jo what’s going on, and arranges for them both to get tested. Alison slinks back to D&D to try to get her job back. Lucy is gracious enough not to remind her that she’d told Alison that the job would be gone as soon as Alison took off for Seattle, but does say that the hiring decision is now Amanda’s. Lucy gets Amanda to agree to put Alison in the mix, and gives Alison her old receptionist job back, and Amanda gets straight to work making Alison eat shit. Meanwhile, Billy decides to advance his career by fabricating a résumé (and implicating Alison to be his fraudulent reference from his made-up copywriting job at D&D). He successfully talks his way into an editorial assistant job at a magazine called Escapades, though it seems like the Managing Editor Nancy might be less interested in his old columns from that dead free weekly than she is in Billy’s ass. We talk about it all in our podcast on “The Test”!

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